Ways to Be Humble
Humility can happen in two ways: you can choose to be humble voluntarily, or you can allow the blows from life to humble you.
Both ways are a blessing, but pain is a harder road. The hardest road of all is to refuse to learn, change and grow.
Below are a few ways you can choose to be humble. As you begin, focus on changing one or two things at a time so you are not overwhelmed and discouraged. Choose something you think will make the biggest difference in your life.
Remember, growth is change that takes time for any living being. It will be the same for you.
Be grateful.
Learning to appreciate what you have increases happiness, improves relationships, and reduces stress, anxiety and depression.
It also lays the foundation for being humble by changing your focus from yourself to the good things and people around you.
Being thankful helps you realize how much you need others, which helps you see your own weaknesses and appreciate what others do for you. You become more modest and less self-centered.
Stop judging yourself harshly.
Recognize that you are growing and learning. Think kindly of yourself and learn to have healthy expectations for your behavior. Forgive yourself for bad behaviors and sincerely try to do better next time. It’s alright that you are not perfect – that’s part of the human experience. What’s not alright is that you do not try to become better.
Stop judging others.
When judging others, you often think you are better than them. When you stop judging others, you start seeing people as equals and appreciate their strengths and weaknesses.
Not judging others does not mean that you stop judging between good and bad behaviors – this would make you vulnerable to destructive or predatory people. However, by accepting others without judgment, you become more humble and respectful.
Don’t compare yourself with others.
Comparison is a core trait of pride. When you compare yourself to others, you tend to grade them or yourself as inferior or superior. By avoiding comparisons, you are freer to see each person as they are. It also reminds you that everyone, including you, is equally important, which is the core of being humble.
Admit your faults and forgive yourself.
Honestly accepting your faults is a key part of being humble. When you acknowledge your mistakes and weaknesses, you allow yourself to make mistakes and put yourself in a position to accept that you are not perfect – and that’s okay. This makes it easier to accept and appreciate the flaws in others too.
Be willing to apologize and correct mistakes.
Admitting your faults is an important first step. The next step is apologizing for your part and doing what you can to heal any hurt you’ve caused. This is one of the times that humility takes courage! But saying sorry and trying to correct mistakes shows that you respect others and take responsibility for your actions. It also shows that you are committed to doing better and learning from your errors, which is a key part of being humble.
Be determined to be honest.
This one may not seem obvious at first, but if you look over the different ways you can develop humility, you will notice a common thread: Each one requires a level of honesty with yourself and others. When you honestly try to see things through the truth of humility – that each person has equal value – you begin to change… and so does the world around you.
Be willing to admit when others are right.
Doing this shows you are willing to value truth over your own ego or hurt feelings. It also shows that you value others’ opinions and recognize their strengths. When you do not need to be the smartest or “correct” person, you learn from others and appreciate their contributions. You also reinforce the belief that everyone, including yourself, is equally important, which is the essence of humility.
Allow others to make mistakes and forgive them.
For many, this is the hardest part of humility; but it is perhaps the most rewarding. When you give others the space to make errors without harsh judgment – even ones that hurt you or those you care about – you set the stage for forgiving them. Forgiveness is not about saying someone’s behavior was okay. It’s about getting rid of the poison of resentment within yourself and the world.
Forgiving someone when they mess up shows that you don’t see yourself as more important, and you recognize that everyone deserves understanding and a second chance. This attitude of acceptance and forgiveness helps you see others as equals, reinforcing the idea that everyone is just as important as you, which is key to being humble.
Give others credit when it’s deserved.
By sharing credit, you focus on others in a positive way, avoid taking too much praise for yourself, and reinforce the idea that everyone has value and deserves to be seen. This practice promotes a humble mindset and lifts others.
Be willing to accept feedback.
Accepting feedback helps you be teachable and helps you to value others’ opinions. Although there are other reasons, the main reason most people avoid feedback is pride. The hardest types of criticism to hear are often 1) When you know what you’re hearing is true and you’re guilty; and 2) When you believe the criticism is unfair or untrue, which can cause you to feel misunderstood or under attack.
When receiving feedback that seems unfair, a good rule of thumb is to ask, “How much of this is true or untrue? Why?” “What have I done to make them think this?”
It can also be helpful to honestly ask yourself why you do not like the feedback, and to remind yourself why you should want feedback. Even if you disagree with what is said, the information can help improve your understanding if you honestly weigh what someone says so you understand why it is right or wrong.
Accept and treasure others’ differences.
Accepting does not mean you agree with everything someone thinks or does. Enjoying what is different and healthy in others helps you appreciate their strengths. You will also discover that many of the things you find unpleasant or annoying do not really matter. Accepting and even enjoying different ideas and opinions increases humility and the enjoyment you get from relationships.
Be respectful even when you disagree.
Although you can accept that someone has different ideas or opinions, sometimes it is impossible to agree with them. When that happens, politely allow them to have their opinions. This reinforces the idea that you value them as individuals, which is at the heart of humility.
Do service or acts of kindness every day.
This will reinforce your belief that each person has value. It will also increase your joy and help you be more grateful as you see (and lighten) the struggles others’ go through.
Identify and let go of beliefs that prevent humility.
This can be especially hard, because each of us has been taught to think and believe things that cause pride. However, with some reflection, and by being aware of your behavior and thoughts, you can identify your false beliefs that prevent humility.
There are many false beliefs that prevent humility from growing, such as believing you are better than someone, that you cannot be successful or happy if another person is successful, that you deserve recognition for talents or successes, etc.
After identifying a belief that prevents humility, try this method to get rid of it. Most people will find it unusual. If you are unsure if it will work, go ahead and try it. If you prefer other methods, use them instead.
- When you discover a belief, write it down.
- If you believe in a higher power (whether it be God, angels, or something else), ask that higher power for help in removing the belief(s). If you do not believe in a higher power, you can simply say, “I am letting these beliefs go.” This part is important – there is power in actively choosing what you believe.
- Finally, identify the truth(s) about the topic:
- If you believe in a higher power, ask that power to help you discover the truth that is opposite of the false belief you held. Once you have identified the truth, ask that the truth become part of you.
- If you do not believe in a higher power, identify the truth that is opposite of the false beliefs you held, then say something like, “This truth is now part of me.”